He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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