dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
