Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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