I am in a vortex of obligation.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
