around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
