Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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