She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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