hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
