I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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