bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
