At least make sure they are 18
Why
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
