Me too!
I cannot find my penis.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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