Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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