I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
