we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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