Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
