Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
