alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
