I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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