I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
