I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
