Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
