you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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