Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
