Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
