Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
