As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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