What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
