So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
