You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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