Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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