so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
