oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
