she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
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