your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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