Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
