Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
