You're so nebulous sometimes
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
