you have to choose: penises or morals?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
false alarm, still single
Randomize
