his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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