my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I just found a bag of teeth...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I love you. Go after that dick
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
