Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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