my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
my being single is dangerous.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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