I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
