We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
