It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize