Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She's the barista slut.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
