Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
