I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
