dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
